YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK
I had an amazing evening last night. I was at church.
Now, for those of you that aren’t fond of church…I am wondering what just popped up in your mind. Did you think: how can you have an amazing evening at church? That’s the last place I would ever have an amazing evening.
Or did you even realize what you thought? That is the question. So many of us go about our day not realizing that there is so much going on in our brains unbeknownst to us…yet we are driven by what our brain is doing: receiving information, processing it thru the subconscious and then the conscious brian, then telling us how to feel and act based on the aforementioned processes.
For now, back to my evening first and then why I am blogging about the above. Its been a while since I have woken up this early with the feeling of actually wanting to blog…but I would much rather be here than lying in bed for another hour trying to go back to sleep…you know how that is. So it is nice to be here with you!
Any who, last night now…yes I was at church with the Sanctuary crew. Now, if you have been reading for some time – you have probably seen me refer to many of the sermons from this community….which are awesome right? Yet, I have been so blessed by this entire group of people I can hardly even tell you…and if you are in the Bay Area and want to come see what a real community is like – the closest one to what I would say God would want us to have – then you’ve got to come check us out. I had no idea when I started to attend a few months ago how much I would need these people in my life at this point in time – but God did. I really was just going to hear the preaching on James – since this book had had a HUGE impact on my life a year prior. I was hesitant because they were labeled the “young adult” group of MPPC. In my mind, young adult = pick up zone. Definitely not what I was wanting to be part of or to have a certain person know I was part of because I didn’t want any one to think anything of me in those terms. Yet I am so happy to say this is NOT what this group is about…at least I haven’t seen it. Yes, there are singles – but there are also married, some with kids, and I have even met a few other divorced women. There are some recovering addicts, and probably more “variations” of people I haven’t yet met…but we are all there together, learning to live together. It seems I have finally found a place where the people are trying their hardest to be who they say they want to be, where they are trying to really put their words into practice – and mostly where these people are REVOLUTIONARY for Jesus. This is not easy in this day and age…especially for the younger generation. Yet, as the term implies, Sanctuary is a place where you can come JUST AS YOU ARE and be accepted JUST AS YOU ARE – no strings attached.
Okay – I keep getting sidetracked – so sorry. And I have to get ready soon! So onward. Last night we at the Sanctuary gathering were listening to Patti Pierce from Wellspring talk about Soul Care (which I LOVE how she spells her name!). Strange enough, we were talking about desires we have in our life and how to handle them. We were doing some very preliminary soul searching – trying to figure out what our underlying desires really are under the surfacey desires (did you get that?).
This was amazing cause this is the journey I have been on – right? I’ve had the wonderful gift of much time to do this…and I will be praying for all of those there last night that they can make the time to continue this process – for it is so worth the effort! Yet, for me…I feel like this time last night was another piece of my puzzle of where I am headed in my life…of what I was created to do and where I am called to be. I’m not exactly sure where this piece goes in – if it is a straight edge piece or some where in the middle – but I left last night just sensing I am getting closer and closer to seeing things come together. That and making yet another connection in putting pieces together in another area for Practice Joy. Perhaps all of this “coming together” is why I just popped out of bed just now…
Yes, but all that was just for me to share cause I wanted to…and I hope you catch my energy that is exuding out of my fingers right now from this…we can all use a little extra energy here and there right? I’ll need that later today as I struggle with finding the energy to complete the day! But on to the real reason I wanted to blog this morning.
One of the themes that came up last night – that I think comes up a lot all around us in and outside the church…is the concept of the perceived failures and mistakes in our lives that cause us regret. It came up with my neighbor who babysat for me when I got home as well…so I figured maybe this is something I might have some thing to share about. For a few months ago, I think I really did struggle with thinking I made some huge, colossal mistake that led me down the path to where I am now. However, in the last few weeks …in preparation to practice what I preach…I have decided to ban the words “failure” and “mistakes” from my vocabulary. To me, now, there are no such things.
“Then what are they?” you ask.
These events that take place that could cause me so much regret and misery …really just keeping me in bondage – which is NOT what Jesus came to do for he came to set the captive free… OR if I simply rephrase those words in my mind to call them “learning lessons” – all the sudden my entire being changes. My heart feels lighter, my countenance looks up, my mind starts going down a different path than the old grooves it is used to. If I call it a “learning lesson”, what does that mean? What comes to mind when you read that? Say it out loud to yourself and then write down what comes to mind. Do it now before you lose the moment. Just take 1 or 2 minutes to jot down the first things that come to mind…you might surprise yourself.
HOW TO REPHRASE WHAT YOU THINK:
A quick other lesson I learned from Michael Mantell at the ACE conference then on to my thoughts about the above. After you are done writing down your thoughts, I want you to draw a square on your paper. In the top left corner, write the word “event”…in top right “thought”, bottom right “feeling” and bottom left “behavior”. This gives you a visual of what is going on in your mind … moving from left to right, down and back to the left. However, what often happens is that we un-kowningly draw a line from the event to our feelings and think our resulting behavior is caused that way. We have totally cut out, “exnayed” the fact that our thoughts are there. When we do this, when we cut out our thoughts from our conscious mind – we literally have no control over feelings…and thus claim we cannot control our behaviors. Yet, yet…..if we realize we missed the step of “capturing our thoughts” first before getting to looking at the feeling – then we instantly gain control over our minds, our feelings and our behaviors once again.
Now, I realize this is a very quick – 10 second explanation and that there is more I could say than this…but this is the little tidbit of info I just want you to focus on today. This is why I asked you to write down what came to mind when I said “learning lesson”…because if you can get your mind to focus on this word when events happen that don’t go the way you want them or expect them to…then you can change your feeling about the event…and then your behavior.
For me, when I say “learning lesson” – then I start to look to say to myself, “Hmm, well, this is certainly not how I expected my life to turn out at this point. Yet, just like any kid or good athlete or eventually successful person – I know I am going to have to “fall down” – and maybe a LOT before I get to where I am going. All those other people that are looking at me right now, they want me to be embarrassed and maybe even ashamed so they feel better about themselves. They want to hold the “law” over me for whatever reason …but this doesn’t bring me freedom therefore isn’t good for me. The truth is, they didn’t take the risk I did…and if I didn’t take risks then the rewards I could potentially “earn” won’t be very great. Okay, well, what can I learn from what I have been thru? What would I change and do differently next time? Is there something about me that I need to change in order to avoid giving myself this learning lesson again? What did I do well here that I can celebrate? Is there a deeper lesson God is trying to bring into my life?”
The questions I could ask myself could go on and on. But my point is – don’t be afraid of the learning lessons that come into your life – either by your own doing or just by chance. Do not hold onto regret, but try asking yourself what you would do or say differently next time given the chance. Doesn’t that “feel” so much better when you give yourself permission to learn from life’s events rather than condemn them as failures and mistakes?
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| Capture every thought! |
Oh, so much more I could say and ask of you…but the kids are stirring, breakfast needs to be made, lunches packed and a new day is dawning where many more learning lessons are bound to happen. Have a fabulous day …and keep capturing your thoughts to make them obedient to truth and goodness!
