When you idealize others, you become needy of them …more accurately you become needy of their strengths you idealize in them. When you idealize others, you put them on that god-forsaken pedestal – an area they can never fully climb up onto and an area that does not let them be who they truly are….fallen humans just trying to figure this journey out for themselves as you do the same. Expectations on your end go up like fortified walls – creating barriers to intimacy….intimacy that you so desire down deep but don’t know how to obtain.
Instead of looking at their strengths with jealousy – look at these strengths and ask yourself if you need this strength in yourself. Look at these strengths as a road map of where you are still in need of developing yourself. Acknowledge their strengths you admire and thank God for them as you recognize your own strengths and give God thanks for them.
By taking this step back to see what it is about this person you have the tendency to want to idealize, you essentially will knock that pedestal of expectations right off its foundation, allowing them to come crashing down…placing you and this other person on a level ground – which is the only place where intimacy can be built.
