I have lived. I have died.
I have been resurrected.
I have laughed. I have cried.
I have been remade.
I have loved. I have lost.
I have been tongue-tied.
I have seen the light. I have seen the dark.
I have been edified.
I have fought like hell. I have surrendered.
I have been birthed through the pain that lies in between.
The dualistic life. To me, it seems as if DUALISM is a common fact of life.
Left-side, right-side. Front Side, back side. Logical-side, creative-side. Up side, down side, light side, dark side, flip-side, straight side…and probably many more then I can even fathom.
We have strength, we have power; calmness and chaos, yin and yang, introvert and extrovert. We have literal, and metaphorical, women and men, feminine and masculine.
These labels do not even begin to describe all the in betweens there are on the sliding scale between the two sides. Nor how, even as you look at the body, there is this amazing connection of two becoming one.
IS CHRISTIANITY AFRAID OF SOMETHING?
About a year ago, I had a pastor friend challenge me as I was questioning my faith and questioning the Evangelical/Apologetic view of Jesus as the son of god. I cannot remember exactly on what point she made mention to me that what I was thinking sounded “dualistic”. I just remember her comment and realize I wish I would have been able to point out that yea – life is NOT one-sided. Life is not even two-sided…but in trying to make it so, in trying to make it one-sided – we do all of ourselves a disservice.
What do I mean? I mean that this game we call life, this journey we are all on is more then surface deep. It is rich and complex, full of top notes and undertones. It is mixed with choruses and bridges times 1000. All the stories of just one of us could never all be written down – let alone six billion of us that live on this planet. Personally, I don’t think we ever even get to the finishing flavors…not in this lifetime at least.
Yet, when we try to reduce life to just the surface level…when we try to say to have faith just like a child, to ignore the dark always in favor of the light…something strange happens. The light starts to become dim and unable to penetrate to the depths of our dualistic nature. In this state we are not even able to identify the darkness that is consuming us like a forest fire.
Our child-like faith becomes surfacey and unable to handle the grey zones that our Adult world presents to us. We become paralyzed by indecisiveness of our own inner voices, unable to do what we really care to do and doing what we care not to do.
In short, we become robots just going through the motions of life, not even realizing that deep inside the body there is a cry being stifled, a moan being shushed. There on the tip of a tongue a question is some how forming that we have no idea is even there or where it comes from, and certainly not how to even begin to answer it.
“Isn’t there more to life then this? Is there not something more then just this literal meaning of life?”
Have you ever seen, felt or heard this question? Seriously, have you?
Go ahead, I’ll wait while you search your inner typography and see what is there. Maybe it is not in the same words…but it is a similar concept.
WHAT IS MISSING?
There seems to be this sense, an idea, or a picture that something is not quite right within you. You might not be able to describe what is there, what is missing…but there is this gnawing sensation in the pit of your stomach. There is no depth to your soul anymore, there is no richness to the complexities that life throws at you. The things that used to bring you joy – well they are just things now, things you are not even sure why you wanted in the first place. I am labeling this “thing that is missing” as the “reality of duality”. For it was when I turned inward and saw that I was a dualistic creature, I was able to see the depth of my being. Maybe it wasn’t the first time I saw this depth in my 30+ years, but it increasingly became clear to me that I had never allowed myself to accept the duality of my nature and therefore accept my depth, never allowed Her to speak to me and hear what She had to say. It was there, in the darkness of my soul that I saw for the first time the real need for the darkness, and that my darkness was not wrong nor evil nor bad. She was like a small child asking to be seen and loved. When I ignored her she acted out, throwing tantrums just like a small child would do so.
WHERE TO GO GROM HERE? WHY DOWN OF COURSE…
When we have no ability to accept our darkness, we have no ability to see our depth, no ability to go deep within, to root down into the earth of our soul…we are like a tree with no roots…easily knocked over by the winds of life.
So, if you are like me, tired of getting pushed around, knocked over or smashed to the ground by the storms of life…I invite you into the idea that life is not one-sided. You might not be ready to make the full leap into this idea, but what if you just sat with it for a minute, a second? Just gave room in your mind for this concept – that life is full of sides…what would happen to the landscape of your mind? Of your life? Of the choices that present themselves?
If this is an “aha” moment for you, if after sitting with the question for a moment you say yes to the idea…I invite you into the deep, into the dark, into the grave, the cave….YES into the feminine side of life, whether you are female or male – we all have this side of us.
I invite you into the dualistic life, a game where I can see many opportunities on all sides to (re)define what we have been taught so that we can truly Practice Joy. I invite you to embark on a journey to discover how…
TO NEVER GIVE UP…
BUT DEFINITELY ON HOW TO SURRENDER…
AND BOTH AT THE SAME TIME.
Will you join me?
