Where do I even start today? This lesson has been so deep for me, one that will not leave me alone nor give me much solace…and me, a glutton for any good lesson that will grow me, challenge me.
When Death comes a calling, whether literally or figuratively, it sends the modern civilized mind and body into whirlwinds of turmoil, doubt, loneliness, denial, anger, fear…just to name a few. Pain is evident, as is a sense of helplessness and disbelief. “Where are the answers in death?” I ask, as it seems so final, so complete…so over.
I find myself asking what the hell does any of the stuff I really do on a daily basis…does it really matter in the end?
In the face of death and the suffering I see around me,
I find myself wanting to be free today of the roles I’ve been pigeon holed into
which would perhaps let me be the Love and Light I know I AM.
For most my adult life I have either been subliminally told what role I was to play just because I was a soul inside a woman’s body… or I listened whole heartedly to teachings that “shed light” so I can have some clue on how to walk this path as a human, hoping to figure out how I “fit in”.
For the last four years, I have studied the idea of gender roles and how it relates to the epidemic of abuse in our modern world. I have picked apart my own ideas and those of others in order to try to find Truth and something that would help change the world. For these ideas of roles and of genders have been more like straight jackets…keeping me from being who I really am in the moment of the moment.
Today, I let it all go.
I let go of the idea that roles, gender, maleness, femaleness….that any of this really freakin’ matters in the end. While I do not think I could have gotten to “here” without this study of the last four years, without first learning all the ways to be that we have played with as humans over the last 4500 years…I am glad I am finally getting “here.”
Why?
For I see now that while I believe we all have our own answers to who we are inside of us as individuals…that it is not until we come together as the individual pieces of the puzzle that we will step into the new era that is being birthed on this planet as we speak. An era that I feel we are deeply longing for – one where connection, community, wholeness, healing and joy replace the current paradigm.
For just as we formed Patriarchy together in order
to save our species from the threats of the natural world…
and thus created these gosh darn gender roles that keep us neatly within the structured walls of our society and our minds…it is time we take the free fall of death and step out of our structures, our walls, our genders…and once again just be Souls of Light that happen to live in these things we call bodies…
in order to save our species from the threat of the civilized world.
It is time that we let go of our ideas that we are human beings divided up into neatly categorized genders.
It is time that we let go of the idea that our Souls have to keep it all together…so that we can fit into the structured roles of our society.
It is time that we let go of what you are supposed to do because you are a Man and you have to show how strong you are…to “man up”.
It is time that we let go of what you are supposed to do because you are a Woman…and you have to show how you can be better than a man, how you don’t need a man, how powerful you are all by yourself.
It is time to let go of our structured walls, buildings, streets and cities that give us a false hope of security and safety from the natural world.
It is time to let go of our structured thoughts, beliefs, bodies and lives that give us a false sense of hope, security and safety from the outside world.
It is time to let go of the idea of the Other…
It is tim to let go…and free fall into the Death that is scary as hell to our civilized world.
For I feel that when we can take this free fall…we will allow Death to teach us a new lesson.
A lesson of Love, of Freedom, of Radical Acceptance.
We will allow Death to be a cleansing tide soothing our tired Souls that are burnt to a crisp by living in Walls.
We will learn that there is beauty in the breakdown, healing in the letting go of thinking we have to hold anything all together…especially on our own.
We will learn that Death – both literally and figuratively – is not the end, nor the middle, but the beginning. The beginning of new Life, of new Hope, of new Dreams…of Expansion.
We will learn how to grieve and feel and heal and transform and most of all be real…be the only thing we can be – Ourselves.
Today, I am no longer a woman
working towards gender equality (not that I ever was). I am no longer a human being willing to pit myself against men or other human beings in order to end abuse, to stop the Chem Trails, save the country nor the planet.
Today I am no longer a civilized human being willing to stay within the Walls of my own prison cell. I am no longer staying captive to the domestication we undertook in order to try this experiment called Civilization.
Today I am a Soul,
neither feminine nor masculine…
simply Divine.
I am a Soul that sees so many people suffering and hurting and longing to be free, to be loved yet not knowing how
I am a Soul that longs to feed those I feel and see that need my Medicine, with my piece of the puzzle.
I am a Soul that longs to be fed by the Medicine of my SoulMates that I do not yet carry in my own.
There is a different way to be. There is an ancient way that can be made new. A new way all in itself.
“You feed me, I feed you.”
