One of the things I often hear both outright and beneath the words from my clients is this question: “Is change really possible?”
As a life coach, I can imagine you are waiting for me to say, “Yes! Absolutely…and here is how you do it in 3 easy steps!”
As a Life Coach and Journeyer myself, I do consider myself an expert on what keeps us from making change, as well as how to make the change we desire.
Yet, the truth is – it doesn’t matter what I say about this subject…what matters is what you believe. And what you believe will be formed by where you set your focus (the internal) that is then reflected in your behavior (the external manifestation). For example:
If you only set your focus on moving away from the past behaviors and do not set your focus on where you want to go, then you are most likely going to fall back into the old ways at some point.
If you set your focus on the perfect and ultimate ideal of what you “should” be, yet do not do any of the work to remove those pesky voices that are “shoulding” you, those voices will create a blockage in the gap of where you are and where you want to be. The likelihood that you will make the Embodied changes that you desire is not high.
If you set your focus on the perfect and ultimate ideal and then only train your mind to see how far you haven’t come or STILL have to go, the likelihood that you will make the Embodied changes that stick are not high.
Even if you set your focus on the what the ideal is for YOU , get some great tools that you apply once and then forget about until you find the new fanciest tool, then the likelihood that you will make the Embodied changes that last…well it is not so likely.
If you really are ready to move out of your past, out of those old patterns, it will take DEDICATION to PRACTICE the new behavior pattern – which begins with your thinking. Only then can the 3 easy* steps come into play. Let me explain.
NEW BEHAVIOR IS LIKE A NEW ATHLETIC SKILL
Our brain cells do not stop at the back of our neck in the brain stem. No, no, no. They actually travel the length of our body down to our fingertips and toe tips via the amazing nervous system. So instead of thinking of our brain as a localized organ in our heads…I encourage you to see your body as the brain. Your body is like a highly adaptable computer system, collecting insightful information from Its surrounding via the nervous system all the time.
That also means that our thoughts actually TRAVEL the length of our bodies as well. Our thoughts become chemical reactions that either help our body function, or stop it from functioning properly. Which one would you rather choose?
If we want to rid ourselves of our old behavior patterns and replace them with the new, then we have to EMBODY the new thoughts. This essentially is the science behind the tool I utilize in my coaching practice ~ NLP (neurolinguistic programing) which is the language and study of how the body is programmed.
1) First RELEASING the body form the old engrained programing. Generally this begins with first being able to identify the thought or story that you want to rid yourself of. Once the brain (again, which is the ENTIRE body) frees up more “hard drive” space…something new can be programmed. In order to FREE up the space, I would employe powerful yet simple coaching tools ~ such as embodied visualizations, physical movement and the like.
2) Rephrase: I assist you to get in touch with your body and Her/His language. This allows you to craft a new thought that better suits and serves you TOWARDS where you want to go. Saying it in your own language, out loud and to yourself in a mirror are all scientifically proven to help the new rephrase STICK in the body chemically/neurologically.
3) PRACTICE!!!!….and then practice some more. Like learning any new physical skill, such as hitting a ball or dancing the tango – learning to behave in a new way will take practice. We would never expect to become race car drivers after our first attempt behind the wheel. Why would we ever expect to become new people after our first attempt of learning to think in a new way? **Fun scientific side note below on this!**
Let’s put these 3 steps into action as our example.
1) Release the old idea/thought/belief that is tripping you up from change – whether it be that change isn’t possible, or that you can’t change enough, or that you only have to read something to change, etc. Write it down whatever it is with the (and this is the important part her) INTENTION that as you write it down, your body is pulling all of the cell memory out of you – then TRUST YOUR BODY to do this. Find a way to safely get rid of the thought: burn, shred, burry, etc.
If you need help accessing this thought, please reach out to me!
2) Rephrase: Here is a simplistic, generic example. I give your full permission to get creative and specific with how you want to rephrase your old thought TOWARDS the positive.
“I am changing every moment, I will focus on where I want to go with my change and continue to practice this change.”
While it might feel funny, I encourage you to look yourself in the eyes and say this out loud. This helps rewire the body chemically!
3) PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE. Thinking with awareness IS a new “athletic” behavior and will take time. It does not happen over night, but with practice and help via coaches like myself and friends/family who are dedicated to also living fully conscious lives – CHANGE IS POSSIBLE.
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* 3 easy steps: with coaching, we are able to think like there is no box for anything we do in life. If we want to make something “easy” and fun, then we have the freedom to come up with a way to think about the task at hand so it becomes this. Don’t believe me? Schedule your free Discovery session today and put me to the test yourself!
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Fun scientific side note about change in the body: When a new thought pattern is made in the brain a new synapsis – or link – is formed to that new thought. Let’s call that “B” and the old one “A”. So when you come up to the old thought that usually sends you to “A” but now redirect yourself to “B”…the new synapse link gets stronger. The more you do this, the stronger it gets. Eventually the body dissolves any synapsis that are not being used any longer and removes them from the body. How fun is that?!
