Is change after a toxic life (with trauma, abuse, co-dependency & all that) possible?
As I peruse places where people post about their traumas, abuse and toxic lives - usually at the hand of someone they label a "narcissist" - one common thread often pops up for me: Do these people KNOW that change IS possible for them?
I am not surprised that many in our society don't know this. That many doubt it is possible - so why even bother?
Many get hyper focused on the OTHER changing so that their world can change. Yet that is a completely backwards approach to getting the deeply seeded desire for change you really want.
As one teacher in my early days of INTENSIVE healing pointed out:
Often times people get out of one toxic relationship - yet in the end nothing really changes. They might change spouses, but the furniture and all the fixings are still the same.
Today, in a two part series, I share a bit more about how AWESOME my life is. YES AWESOME.
And I have been through so much of the toxicity that most people have been through:
- Sexually abused by my father pre-verbally (while I still in the crib y'all)
- Divorce and subsequent "rejection" by the aforementioned father
- Death of my mother at age 9
- Living with aforementioned father again for 9 months (my family did not know at the time he was a sex addict, most likely amongst other thangs) where more abuse happened
- 2nd "rejection" by father as he told my extended family that he didn't want my bro and I anymore and that if they didn't take us - he would turn us over to an orphanage.
- Adoption into a new family at age 10 (almost 1 year after the death of my mother)
- This new family ended up being toxic in all ways possible. Alcoholic, drug addicts and highly verbally/emotional abusive to me (tho I wouldn't know this until after my divorce). They even swindled money from my brother & I that had been part of my mother's death benefit - money my own family didn't even know about :-0. (Bless their souls - all but one of that family is now transitioned.)
That is just the few "highlights" of my first 18 years, y'all.
This doesn't count the 11.5 years I allowed myself to stay in a toxic marriage - created in part due to my subconscious patterns from the above. In that relationship, I experienced all the other forms of abuse one can experience - all wrapped up in the name of "love".
Yet today, even as I type all that out, I feel a lovely "peace that surpasses all understanding".
"WTFUDGE!?!?! How in the world can you experience that Holli?"
Because I learned that CHANGE IS POSSIBLE.
Not only did I learn this fact.
I learned and applied the principles of "alchemical" change to my life.
And viola! Here I am today. After 9 years of INTENSIVE work ON MYSELF - I am living a brand new life where the past is truly that past. And I am truly a new creation in "Christ".
Because more than anything else - what "Christ" gave us was the awareness of Choice.
When we have awareness of Choice, we can see that we don't have to be just animals repeating patterns.
We can CHOOSE differently.
How?
Watch on and hear more!
1 of 2:
