Political rightness can kiss my a**.
Why? Here are just some of the confusing messages I get as a woman today around being a woman.
Be an independent, strong and self-reliant woman - not needing a partner. Actually, not needing anyone. Be an island unto thy self basically. If you need to be in a partnership - you are weak as a woman. You are #OldSchool - still programmed by the patriarchy.
{Yet you need to be partnered to have meaning, find significance and have a “right” status in the eyes of most of society. And that partner better be “a man”: Make more than you lest he be made to feel emasculated, be emotionally tough (meaning not showing emotions except for anger), not be able to understand you as a woman and that he will just be “a man” now matter what you try.)
{{Yet, you really know you can do EVERYTHING he does - and do it better. So you better not sleep, deprive your feminine body of her cyclical down time and strive to show all the men AND women up in your life. Break the glass ceiling at any cost. Raise the kids on your own. Put in all the emotional equity into the relationship - and then complain about it unrelentingly. Save the world from the #patriarchy, the #toxicmasculinity and the #metoo movement - and do it all with a cake of makeup hiding your fears/tears/exhaustion. Oh, and of course with 4” stilettos and a pencil skirt on to boot.}}
{{{When you start to break under this pressure, simply claim it was your feminine cycle holding you back and making you “crazy”…not the fact that you have allowed yourself to have all this pressure put on you…}}}
Do I need to go on?
Well, I say a good old fashioned middle finger to this bullsh*t.
Now that I have reclaimed/found myself since my divorce, now that I have made it as an independent woman - I am seeing a different way.
Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE the fact that I have and am creating a life just for me. Not for any other man in my world. Just for me. It feels amazing, liberating, exhilarating.
And it might feel that way because I created this life outside of the normal #distortedmasculine drive, drive, drive energy. I have created this life to honor my feminine cyclical nature and needs for internal rest days/times.
AND…I am now seeing that believing I don’t need a man/partnership is more of the “old” #distortedfeminine energy - that which was really just more masculine drive through the feminine body to be = to a man.
F*ck that. I don’t want to be = man. I don’t want to spend my life playing catch up to a physical/mental/social creature I can never be in my woman’s body.
I want to be different than the norm…what the world has made the only valid form. Because the tis where the balance and harmony lie.
I LOVE my womanly parts, soul, ways. I am not ashamed to say I want to be a woman in a feminine body - honoring my feminine ways of thinking, being, doing, cycling through life/death/life. I love my depth and breadth of emotions that invite others into a different world with me, to be nourished, cared for and given permission to be true to themselves.
I also love being able to hold extremely masculine/discipline/structured energy in my extremely feminine body, in my feminine/flowy/powerful way.
And I am not afraid to say I want, I need a man in a masculine body in all his ways of thinking, being, doing life that are in contrast to mine.-
Complimentary to mine.
Not out of co-dependency to be seen, or justified to be alive.
But out of a need to have synergy.
I know I am a full creation in-and-of-myself, able to create powerfully. Now I want to know, I need to know what the synergy of our union can create.
I need partnership in this lifetime.
Not out of a need to feel I have status or significance in this society. I know I give those things to myself. I know I am worthy of those thangs.
But out of a need to feel the co-creation of something bigger than just me.
And out of a need to be completely in my Feminine Power, knowing I have the Strength of a worthy Partner to drive our co-created synergy to where it is needed in this world.
I am not ashamed to say I am an independent, self-made woman who is also an interdependent player with the men in this world, especially in partnership.
Reminds me of a few posts I wrote a few years ago here:
