Dear Mother
It seems fitting that I would dedicate to you this action on the 27th year of your passing from this world: I am finally cutting the tie to you as my mother so we can both be free to be the Woman of our heart’s desire. In doing so, I am dedicating my new poem to you: The Call of the Great Beyond ~ the Birth of the Sacred Lover.
Yes, I realized just a few days ago with your anniversary approaching that I ~ while having been alive just 2 years shy of you at your death, while having my own children, lovers and life ~ was still seeing myself as a child, as your baby girl in so many ways.
As you know, I have been on a journey these past years ~ especially into the Great Unknown. I have uncovered many facets of my own past, of our past as a family and as part of the human race. I was led a few weeks ago to the root of my self, where I realized I was unable to go any further in my healing.
What was this I found?
I had discovered that I had bought a story that I was a band-aid for you, for my family, for my relationships and in a greater sense for the world. In my quest for healing, I knew I needed to first figure out why I played this role in my life. Then I needed to release myself, forgive myself so I could release/forgive you, my family and others. I went on a hunt both within the world, within history and within my own body and Story.
In my hunt, I discovered that the world has lost something extremely important for all of humanity: The Archetype of the Sacred Prostitute*. This word, even for me, has a slight aversion to it…so I will rename this Archetype the Sacred Lover. She is also known as Isis, Aphrodite, Astarte/Ashera in the Bible and in Her earliest written form as Inanna.
First let me share with you what I found about why archetypes are so important to me: Archetypes and the myths they come from are like pieces of a puzzle about the human psyche…they are symbols of the interior landscape projected into the visible external world. Theses symbols help the subconscious mind wake up and see clearly feelings, thoughts and behaviors that I might not otherwise be able to see. They also carry characteristics within them that a fully adult person will need to integrate into their own psyche if they wish to be/live as Jesus did. Without all the pieces to the puzzle, the inner human is short of all s/he needs to make the full transformation into adulthood and into their own Spiritual Soul.
There cannot be just one archetype for all the different facets of the human psyche, for then the mind would not be able to see clearly those attributes that are better shown in individual Archetypes – or what the ancients called gods/goddesses.
Lastly, Archetypes are not gender specific. They are more about the essences of the human psyche that we all have – both men and women.
Second, let me share with you what is behind the archetype of the Sacred Lover: She is Eros…the other side of the Archetype of the nourishing/breast feeding Mother.
She is the part of the Feminine energy that turns the world on with passion, getting the world’s juices fired up with her Love dance, firing up the groins of creativity, of art…which in essence is the creation of life…not just human life, but all of life. Can we humans create life without Her, without Eros? Yes, but I feel that life is missing something, missing passion and zest and depth…at least that is what I have found.
She is the part of the Feminine energy that knows when to push a child out into the world, cutting the umbilical cord from herself. She is the part of the Feminine that knows when it is time for the child to be weaned. She is the part of the Feminine that knows when it is time to push her baby birds out of the nest so they stop relying on her to be their Mother…their band-aid…saving them from them selves and the big scary world while taking on their feelings and their pain. She might seem cold and heartless at times, but this is far from the truth. She desires not to control nor manipulate her children, nor keep them as infants dependent on her…which is what happens when only the Mother archetype is allowed to live.
I believe the Sacred Lover is the piece of the puzzle that helps men become men, and women become women. She allows the psyche in both to begin the process of detachment from the Mother and reattachment to Self. Without Her, I fear we are bound to remain girls and boys playing in adult bodies and wreaking havoc on the Earth.
Furthermore, without this Archetype to complete my own inner world into a full blown WoMan…without knowing when to cut myself off from the Breast – not to mention those in my life – I am left only as the Breast Feeding/Band-aid Mother. I am left as an incomplete whole, with a hole in my being. I am left to wonder why I continue to play this role…never being able to feel fully at home in my own body…not able to forgive myself nor others for using me and women in this capacity.
Yet, I have found Her…this beautiful, luscious, curvaceous, Erotic lover of the soul and World…and I have claimed Her as me. I am claiming Her Power. In doing so my quest that began more than 3 years ago; my quest that led me to ask the question, “What does it mean to be a woman, really be a woman?”; my quest to become a whole person, fully harmonizing my own masculine and feminine energy – this quest has come to completion. Even in this though I know it is just a beginning…the birth I have been waiting for.
Lastly, I offer this to you my mother. I am choosing to rewrite my own history, whether it is true for anyone else in my family or not – I am doing this for myself. So that I can find peace, release, forgiveness. So that I can find a way to accept the choices others have made, that have led me to certain choices for my own life…accepting them instead of using them to keep me captive to my past, to my own hiStory.
For I have learned that if I want to change my behaviors, I start by first acknowledging the behavior then work towards changing the way I talk to myself. On a bigger scale, if I want to change my future, I start by first acknowledging where I have come from, honoring it and learning from it as much as possible. Then, as the only person in control of my mind, I can take my own authority to rewrite that Story in a way that allows freedom, acceptance and unconditional love.
So here is my Story I have replacing my old tapes with:
