Starting yesterday afternoon – I arrived at a point where I needed a vacation from my troubles. I promised myself I was actually going to take a break from all the heavy stuff I am going thru right now. It is the end of the year, and it is time to celebrate. And since my whole mantra as of late – and going forward – is to learn and then teach others how to celebrate, how to Practice Joy in the good AND BAD times of life…I am again trying to practice what I talk about (not using the word “preach” for a very specific reason…it’s the whole rephrasing thing cause I do not want to be seen as one who preaches anything…but just one that shares her thoughts, no matter how odd and random they might be!).
So, as I ventured towards my vacation, I started thinking about all the things I have learned from Felicity so far that I wanted to document. SPOILER ALERT – if you haven’t watched the series but plan on it…I might be giving too much away here:
* While following a crush any where, across country or across the internet, might lead to some important life and self discoveries…sharing that you have a intense feelings to the Crush and that you are over that crush and want to know how the Crush feels about your “sharing”….well it only leads to really awkward moments that can literally be felt thru the TV screen. Seriously, what was she thinking when she decided to talk to Ben that first episode?
* Only on Felicity could this complete stalking scenario turn around to become a friendship and later, a relationship. What? What was Ben thinking??
* If you want to say “hi” to someone that is important to you….say “hey”. Seriously, have you noticed that? There are no hellos or hi…just heys.
* That Noel spelled backwards becomes this totally cool, ultra-ego person called “Leon”. What was Noel thinking?
* Besides “hey” being the most frequent word used…the most frequent question is “can we talk?”. People are always asking this on this show…which I guess is a good thing – clearing the air so to speak…it just makes me laugh the way it is done in every episode…usually more than once.
* When asked a question, rather hard or easy, good or bad, you must put your hands on your head or one hand to your forehead and look really taken aback…you must watch Felicity herself to get this one.
* Why didn’t I have such awesome counselor’s when I was in college?
* That somewhat baggy jeans and short shirts were the style in late 90’s early 2000’s for girls…what were WE thinking?
Okay – I’m sure there are some more funny ones…but I love these more serious ones as well.
* Seriously – what was Felicity thinking when she ran away with Ben that first season?!!? First time thru the series…I would have totally agreed. And almost agreed this time. But now, having grown up some and learning to let go of some of my childish ways…I completely don’t agree. But I guess that is the difference…she was a 19 year old college freshman who still had a lot of growing up to do. Not to say that the die hard Romantic in me doesn’t still agree Ben was the romantic choice…Ben was the “lover” and Noel was “just” the best friend. Having had the “lover” play out in my life, I would now much rather have the “best friend” scenario. Maybe she’ll learn before it is too late.
* “Because you’ve been through it,” says Felicity’s counselor to her at the end of her first year when she questions herself about why she should be an R.A.
* Felicity’s 2nd counselor to her at end of 2nd year says she is proud of her for choosing herself over some boy…that this is a sign of growing up. Felicity’s response, “I just wish growing up wasn’t so painful.”
* I LOVE the way Felicity stands up for herself and her boundaries with Ben at the beginning of season 2. She basically realizes she is trying to be someone that is not her…and she admits to both herself and Ben that she cannot do that. She shares the hard truth that both of them had fallen into falsehoods about the other…and she does the hard thing by walking away from him. Wow!
* From Sally – Felicity’s audiopal: That it is okay to be in my 30s and still trying to find myself and my way in life :-)!
* That when I need to figure something out with another person, either because of what they did or I did…that maybe a good question to start with is, “Can we talk?”
* When I feel strongly about something that I want, like or wish to do or not do, that it is better to be upfront about it first than to try to please that person and have an aftermath of disaster later…okay maybe this is something I have learned from my own life as well!
* From Sean & Meghan – when he is about to lose a nut (don’t ask, just watch) – that you cannot avoid or hide or run from the truth…and that you need your friends around you to help support you during those tough time. Do not try to protect them by lying to yourself.
* From Tracey (Elaina’s boyfriend) and Sean – that it is okay to struggle with your faith and what you believe…and it is okay to stand up for what you do believe, even after you have fallen a few times.
* From Ben and Molly (the Brit) – that while we so desire to help others…to fix them…we cannot. And usually that desire is better reflected inwards to see what we need to help ourselves fix. (Okay, the 2nd half of this is more from my own life and what I have learned than from Ben…but Ben is just “so cute” as Javier would say.)
* From Ben & Molly – and what they didn’t do: That Ben maybe needed to be a little more boundary setting in his relationship with Molly since it affected him and Felicity…that sometimes the “right” thing to do is to do the one thing that looks less like “love” as the world would see it…but is the really a mark of “love” by showing others that they have crossed a boundary or two. Sometimes the best thing we can do is to not continue to hide our’s or other people’s secrets in order to “help” them…but to “let go” of the secrets even if that means they get found out. A great paradox…”letting go takes love“.
I think I will stop there…I know there is so much more that has rung true but I must get going on the rest of my vacation. Thank you for spending time with me today and each day that you have been here with me, pulling up in a cozy chair over a cup of Joe…and reading my thoughts to you. I have thoroughly enjoyed this journey – in the good and the bad…and look forward to what lies ahead in 2012.
Lastly, I pray for both you and for me as we move forward into this next year that we can learn together how to turn our negative, automatic thoughts that get us stuck in life into positive thoughts that show us a right picture of who we are…not that we are all that…but not that we aren’t all that either…just some where right in the middle. And as ONEREPUBLIC says, “It’s going to be a good, good life.”
