“It is better to give than to receive.”
A motto I have personally lived by my entire life.
We are told Jesus himself said these words…yet a quick internet/bible search shows only these words showing up in Acts with a reference to Jesus supposedly saying these words. (Acts is a book that has long been considered Fact and History by the Church, but a decade long research by scholars is questioning this stance. Read more here)
“Hmmm,” is all I can say as I venture further down my new path, the path of being born from the Twin Flame into the Divine, the Oneness, the community of soul/spirit, body/love that I have always craved.
As I think about what happens physically to the body and the world when we try to make this verse fit…well interesting things happen, at least for me. And if it is true for me, I wonder if it is true for others?
In constantly trying to give of myself, I have inadvertently shut down my ability to receive. Not just mentally, but physically, emotionally, spiritually, energetically…within my soul.
When I shut down my ability to receive I found:
My body became physically hard and stiff, keeping tension in places that I had no idea I was keeping tension in.
My breathing was not as smooth and easy as I would like, feeling stuck in my chest and not able to fully inhabit the entirety of my body.
My skin had become disengaged to the sensitivity of touch, not allowing or believing on a conscious level that I deserved to receive love from this manner.
My hugs were brief, fearing that longer ones would send wrong messages and possibly invite unwanted advances.
Meeting anothers eyes for longer than a split second was out of the question, fearful of the awkwardness and soul wrenching truths others might see inside of me. Or might invite a conversation that I didn’t have time nor energy to engage in.
My fists became metaphorically closed to receiving, tight white knuckles they have become….so much so that to physically open my hands, to through my arms wide open and back to open up my heart and my trunk to the world…to expose my body that way has become painful…preferring to slump forwards in attempts to protect my tensed body from receiving something that it cannot handle.
My breasts became hard and engorged with the energy getting trapped inside my body ~ my bra becoming a caged reminder to my back, my chest, my shoulders, my labored breathing that I was not free, not really free at all.
One who is not really free, is not physically, emotionally, spiritually nor mentally open and therefore cannot receive. One that is not truly open and who cannot truly receive…cannot truly give.
Continued tomorrow
