It’s amazing how many different feelings one can feel thru the course of just one 24 hour day. Since last night I have felt: anxious, trepidation, fear, excitement, frustrated, pure hostility, ecstatic joy, relief, worn out, energized, understood, misunderstood, comforted, lonely, fulfilled. I’ve also felt on the verge of tears listening to the same Christmas music that I think a few days back I just wrote about how it pulled me out of a slump. Is there no shortage of ups and downs to this life?
I know – what does this have to do with the price of coffee in South America, right? Well, I am definitely fighting off another bug…and I have to be honest…today’s reading was just too mentally hard for me…or more likely more emotionally challenging than I would like to think about. It is one of those that puts it out there…challenges you to really get out of your comfort zone…my comfortable, cozy warm life. For even all the struggles I have – there are others out there that don’t have a home to live in, don’t have ANY family to call their own; that have lost their rights to live as an average citizen…and Jesus invited us to love on these folks.
Here is the direct question that I read…and that pierced an arrow threw my heart when I heard the thoughts running thru my head:
“Read Jesus’ teachings about the final judgment. Think of someone you know of that probably falls into the category of “the least of these.” You may have to think outside your normal circles. Invite them to a meal with you. Learn their story. Pray for them.” Reading Matthew 25:31-46
Are you ready for those thoughts. I pray you brace yourself for they are not pretty…but I must confront them, just maybe not tonight when I am feeling sickly:
1st one: I’m a single mom who has to live a guarded life. I can’t invite a homeless person back to my house! (Okay, this is true…but this thought leads to the others below.)
2nd one: I could take them out to dinner, but what if they smelled so bad all I could do was want to run to the restroom and throw up?
3rd one: They wouldn’t be comfortable at a restaurant with me anyways.
And there might have been a few others in there…but that is painful enough to admit those. Wow is all I have to say for myself. I have never thought of myself as proud, arrogant or conceited…but paying attention to these thoughts, drawing them out, writing them down instead of letting them just mindlessly pass through my consciousness without a second thought…it is convicting. I know that I have probably….no most definitely have had lots of thoughts like this throughout my life, just laying there below the surface, flashing thru my mind so fast I barely notice them. But they are there, for they are well trained habits by now. I know this because when I did stop to take a look at these thoughts tonight – they wouldn’t have been there if I wasn’t training my mind to just ignore them. Does that make sense? Not sure I am able to make sense right now.
I know most of the time I am so quick to look at what I am doing, give myself a pat on the back. Sure I am good at giving them my food or a few bucks at the stop light and the like. I’ve even made an effort to get out of my comfort zone and talk to them…even pray with a couple. But have I ever invited them to partake in a meal with me? To show them that I think they are valuable and have worth? Even if they do smell? No, I have never done that. I don’t know that I could where I am at…and that saddens me to be that honest with myself. I am so thankful the Lord isn’t done with me yet!
To wrap this back into my title…it’s a long shot but I know y’all are with me on my long shots now!…
As you know, I have been watching Felicity. It’s amazing how much I am getting out of this series…a completely secular series…yet there is so much life truth in it. For example, yesterday’s episode finished with Sally – Felicity’s voice pal that she records tapes (remember those) for and who then responds in kind – commenting on how she was almost 34 and still discovering who she is…just as Felicity was in her first year of college. Definitely can relate to this…as it seems I will be continually discovering myself for the rest of my life…
Yet today’s episode was about Love…about supporting those you love even if they make hard decisions. And this got me thinking about today’s reading and the way I have defined love up until now. Up until now, I used to think love was doing stuff for others so that they “feel” loved. However, the more I think about it…I think love is more than that. Much more. Yet the simplest way I can define what I am thinking is this: finding out how I can assist them to become the best version of themselves, to help bring out their best.
This was the 2nd part of the great commandment Jesus gave to us: “to love your neighbor as yourself.” So whether your neighbor is a friend, a sibling, a co-worker, or the whether they are the homeless on the street corner, the prisoner in jail, or the unloved …we are asked, invited to love them…to look at them, find out who they are and what they dream about …and then help them become the best version of themselves. To me – that is what love means.
