As I stood above her, drinking in her perfectly painted face wearing her favorite dress, my young nine year old heart beat wildly. She looked like she often did as she prepared to leave for work.
Yet, she didn’t. She didn’t look EXACTLY the same. There was a hardness to her, a stiffness. A coldness that not even the makeup could cover up. I wanted so desperately to reach out to her, to touch her knowing she would take my hand in hers, kiss it with her soft lips and ask me to get in and snuggle next to her.
I was frozen as I stood above her. Frozen in fear, yet not fear. I couldn’t reach out to her, and I couldn’t move away. Least of all, I sure couldn’t fathom how this once bigger than life woman who had been my mother was no longer in her body.
The questions that plagued my nine year old heart were bigger than my mind could wrap itself around. The tears and bewilderment of death would become my new best friends over the course of the next 26 years.
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Standing in front of a barren magnificent tree 29 years later on a quiet street in Menlo Park, California, I gaze up and am struck by awe. Awe at the beauty of Death I see in this tree.
As I stand there, embracing the approaching Winter season and seeing this tree completely naked – I spend a quiet moment meditating on how grateful I am to be at peace with Death. I celebrate Her now, the Mystery of Death and the power of Her lessons, with each passing period, moon cycle, season and year.
Everything in its season, and me flowing with the seasons and cycles and rhythms of life – this is the foundation of my life these days. The questions that once plagued me for most of my life have not necessarily been answered…but there is a quiet patient acceptance of the life/death/life cycle that I see all around me.
Still standing at the tree, my thoughts veer to Fred Kofman of LinkedIn and the Wisdom 2.0 event where he had just spoken in regards to spirituality in the workplace. He had been asked about how to speak about death – to which he had no answer.
I was troubled and excited by this for many reasons.
Troubled because our modern day society shuns and fears death in favor of non-vital life, even in most of our spirituality and religions.
Excited because as a student of Death and the grieving process – I feel I am a keeper of the ancient stories that can help us to understand Death, to accept Her in the greater Circle of Life and to learn how to appropriate Her power to our greatest advantage.
If you desire to move out of fear and into living vitally, I invite you to consider the Powerful lessons Death can teach. Starting here, but not limited to:
1) STOP THINKING OF DEATH AS THE END.
START LOOKING FROM THE ANGLE THAT DEATH IS THE MIDWAY POINT.
In Ancient Sumer, Greece, the Celtics and beyond – our ancestors looked at the seasons around them and understood that Winter – the Death – was necessary to birth more life. They wrote these cycles, seasons and rhythms into their stories with a pattern of Life/Death/Life or Birth/Death/ReBirth. Death was NEVER the end of the story.
2) STOP THINKING OF DEATH AS THE END of BEING.
START LOOKING AT DEATH AS THE FERTILE GROUND FOR VITAL LIFE.
Trees, the Earth, the Moon, the Woman’s body – all of these teach the lesson that in order for new life to be birthed, a “death” – i.e. letting go or shedding of the old – has to happen.
For example, the trees loose their leaves in the fall in order to make it through the winter, allowing the precious little energy available during winter to be used for just the basics. And when the days grow longer and more sun is available – the tree produces Her fruit, flowers and leaves once again. 
When we take these external physical ideas about Death and apply them to ourselves – both literally and metaphorically – we can settle our haunches into this idea: we first need to let the old habits, goals, creations “die” in order to make room for the new.
This process of life giving way to death, death giving way to life is the only way change, growth, evolution happens.
3) STOP AVOIDING DEATH.
START LOOKING FOR THE LIFE/DEATH/LIFE CYCLE ALL AROUND YOU AND CELEBRATE!
If we as a society want to move out of fear and anxiety about death and into hope and love; if we want to move out of mass production of things and into vital life – the answer lies within getting as comfortable as we can in Death and Her lessons She bestows upon us. All great leaders and teachers have taught this lesson. Why should we in Silicon Valley and the Tech world be any different?
We know NOTHING lasts forever in its current state – but that everything lasts forever when viewed in the life/death/life cycle. Reduce/Reuse/Recycle.
Buildings become run down and vacant, neighborhoods become “seedy”, cities become less desirable. These all go through their own “death” of sorts until some creative regenerative force comes along – either through humans or Mother Nature Herself – and recreates that space for something new. A new birth happens, the Red Ribbon is cut and a party is thrown!
AN INVITATION TO GO DEEPER WITH THE LESSONS OF DEATH
So, the question I have for you as we end 2015 is this:
* Can you look back at your life this past year and look for those “deaths” that have allowed new life to spring up in its place, and celebrate?
* Do you see current places in your life where there is a need to let behaviors/habits, projects, relationships, jobs “die” so that you can create a more vital life in the fertile ground of those deaths?
If you like these questions and want community support to use the Power of Death’s lessons in creating a more Vital Life in 2016, I invite you to invest in yourself and your life with this upcoming workshop. In this workshop I will dive deeper into the meaning and Power of Death in our every day life and how to use this energy to cultivate your soil in 8 strategic places in your life.
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Holli Christine McCormick of Movement Medicine seeks to get Silicon Valley women & men MOVING into Real Live Community and Mindful Self-Care Practices so they can live vital daily lives. Holli is a Certified Movement Re-education Coach hosting a variety of in-person events and 1-on-1 Movement Sessions in the San Francisco Bay Area. Learn more at www.HolliCM.com
